Everyday, we are just trying to kill ourselves
on some days we are trying to do it faster
some days we forget about it
do not eat, or move and wish we could cry some more
maybe if i strip my skin off or pull my teeth out or pull my hair out or my eyes out, it would go away
i tried with my skin but it doesn't really help
there's something in me, something
maybe if i put my fingers into my throat and vomit, it would go away
i can't get out of my bed, i'm staring and staring
and staring at this tree on my curtains
i'm looking for a song but i can't remember the name of it
it goes like 'they're right in my brain' but its not important, the song has nothing to do with any of it
but it reminds me of something, sometime when i felt exactly the same, years back, maybe four years back
i was staring at the orange light in my room, i came back from college and i was listening to this song and i couldn't feel a thing and the song is not even important not any of your beautiful lyrics and overwhelming music
and i'm staring at this tree, there's some light on the other side of it
i have my iron on my table and some books, some clothes i wore yesterday
i'm not moving my body an inch, i can't
something in me wants to come out.