May ended on a good note. Things that weren't meant to be made their way out, creepily. It's June now. By now things would be different, by now I'll get myself back.
I wonder what falling in your own eyes feels like. And how does it feel when you're too blinded to even see that it's happening. Monsters live with us, within us. What is the true essence of being a man?
I get lost very soon. But, you know how there is always a balance. Some people always find me, make me see me and pull me up again and again.
Everything does indeed happen for a reason. One thing I am learning everyday is to not have any regrets, and I don't have any. I am content.
I started loving Eminem in 2014 for no apparent reason. Heard 'When I'm gone' on my cousin's phone, immediately a fan. And today I need him, after a decade. I found his music for THIS day. I listen to 'Not Afraid' and be strong again. EVERYTHING does happen for a reason.
And, I am Cathy again. How I had forgotten that I cannot be bound. The moors would always be my solace. I am meant to keep flowing. I feel, the only hindrance in life is that we forget ourselves.
Usually endings are tragic, you lose people, lose parts of yourself, your innocence, your kindness. You mourn.
But this feels different. I feel like I have been reborn. Now I get Plath, I get her. I feel like Lady Lazarus too.
Beware
Beware.
Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.